Staying positive during the terrifying first trimester.

I have had a lot of time to think. Way too much time. I have been in bed almost a whole week. I have moderate to severe anxiety disorder. No matter how many times my husband tells me the baby is fine, I am constantly in fear of the worst. I realize I have done everything possible since 6 months before the transfer to make this baby’s environment rich and free of toxins, acupuncture, yoga, chemical free beauty products, toxin and hormone free organic food. The egg donor is a proven donor, we have seen the heartbeat. There is really no reason other than unexplained intermittent bleeding- which I have read is really common in IVF pregnancies- to think anything will go wrong.

I have had 3 babies already. There is nothing hormonally or structurally wrong with me.

I plan to stop reading and researching miscarriage and bleeding and start reading about staying positive in the first trimester.

I just have to make it to Wednesday. I’m hoping my RE lets me off bedrest and return to normal life. I hope the baby has grown and his/her heart is still beating away nice and strong. I hope she says the bleeding isn’t a cause for worry.

My husband and kids are being so wonderfully supportive. I feel truly blessed

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