What They Didn’t Tell Me About Miscarriage

I am almost a full two weeks past my D&C.  I was fully prepared for the roller-coaster emotions of the loss, but nothing could have prepared me for the difficulty of the physical recovery.  I was 9 weeks the day I had the D&C; the baby measured 8w3d.  The procedure itself was a breeze physically.  I was under conscious sedation and my doctor and the staff at my fertility clinic are some of the most compassionate humans I have ever met.  My doctor took the time to sit with Scott and comfort him after my procedure.  They called and checked on me the next day, and my nurse regularly e-mails me.  The first two days after the procedure were cake as well.  I felt pretty good and had minimal spotting.  I didn’t bleed much at all.  Sporadic spotting for about a week and a half.

What I was not prepared for was the debilitating cramping, diarrhea, and exhaustion that hit me on the 3rd day after the D&C.  My boobs felt like milk was trying to come in.  It was an awful experience.  On top of the still raw emotional pain, I felt so bad physically that I could not return to school or regular activity.  I simply did not see this coming.  When I e-mailed my nurse, she gently reminded me that I was fairly far along and that it would take WEEKS to recover.  Yes, they told me my hormones would crash and that it would take anywhere from 4-6 weeks for my period to return.  They did not tell me the hormone crash and my uterus shrinking would cause bowel distress, extreme fatigue, and over-all feeling of soreness.  I felt absolutely awful.  It felt like I would never be able to put the miscarriage behind me.  Last Friday, I was still feeling awful and found out my hCG was still over 90.  That was good, it meant my levels were coming down appropriately.  I am hoping by my blood work tomorrow, my levels are <5.  They follow me to 0.

We have already chosen another donor, and are in the process of creating embryos for the next FET in August.  Even though we are still devastated by our loss, we also know that it happens frequently.  We are overjoyed that my uterus still works just fine.  Our nurse simply said “it’s a matter of when, not if.”  This donor has had resulted in a couple with a live birth, a pregnancy, and two negative outcomes.  I am not bothered by the negatives.  I had two myself that were due to mistiming the embryo transfer.  I am one of the people that need to transfer 12 hours prior to the “protocol” mark.

We are guaranteed two embryos; we could get more.  It can take up to 4 weeks to get 2 healthy blasts to freeze.  Once those are snug in the freezer, I will feel better.  We aren’t planning to transfer again until early August.  AFTER the Bar exam.

 

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