In an effort to take better care of my body, I decided to add something new every month. I didn’t really do much at all since Thanksgiving, so I’m starting anew. This 30 day period, my plan is 30 minutes of cardio. Walking, jumping on the mini-trampoline, jumping jacks, whatever. As long as I fit in a total of 30 minutes per day doing it. I never stopped practicing yoga for stress relief, and will continue to do the fertility and relaxation poses I enjoy. For strength this month, I am doing a chair exercise challenge I found on Pinterest. I just finished the first day, and I am woefully weak and completely out of shape. But I did it! Here is a link to the challenge: it has a slide show with instructions and pictures for each exercise. 30 Day Chair Exercise
I also went for my weekly acupuncture treatment today. We discussed my next FET cycle, and I shared the horrible migraine and nerve pain I’ve been having. I ended up passing out and snoring for most of the 45 minutes the needles were in. I was a skeptic, but I have to say that my anxiety is much lessened. Let’s hope it helps our little snowflake stick this time!
Today was a rough day for the youngest. She inherited my lovely moderate-to-severe anxiety disorder. This morning, as I blissfully enjoyed the last day I get to sleep in for a few months, she crawled in with me and snuggled up saying “I just need some extra snuggles before I go to school.” Then began to cry. Uh oh. Turns out she’s sad that winter break is officially over and we are all going back to our busy lives. I was a SAHM her whole life until law school. All three kids have adjusted beautifully, but she misses her special time with her Mama. So we talked it out and we are going to spend at least one hour a week, just us (and probably her step-dad). She handles her anxiety so much better than I ever did. In some ways, the younger generation has it right. I worry though, that they aren’t getting a fair shake. Once they are adults, the world stops coddling and protecting them and they are left bewildered and angry because they were never taught or allowed to feel the painful reality of adult life. And the world has the audacity to call them snowflakes and ridicule them. I feel for them, and hope that I’m striking some sort of balance between the “old school” world of the 70’s and 80’s I grew up in and the world they live in now. These kids are my whole world, and I find myself crying too often when I feel I’m not doing my job and raising them. Having a career outside the home was never what I wanted. I wanted to be homemaker and mother and wife until they were grown. Unfortunately, I am not able to pay the bills with that and I cannot allow myself to depend on my new husband for it either. It leaves me feeling pulled in two directions and spread too thin, much too often. It’s my hope that once the intense schedule I keep with school is over that I am able to find balance.
We also looked at a couple of houses tonight. I like them both. I’m so looking forward to putting down some roots here, and dreaming of raising that tiny frozen embryo at the clinic alongside his or her brother and sisters. The youngest’s softball practice is over at 7; Middle’s starts at 7. We drop Middle off and pick Youngest up. It’s her special night with mom and Mr. Scott. Wonder where we’ll end up for dinner.